Awakening to Wonder

One day, I decided to turn the tables and stump him with a question. I said, “John, what if you had never been born?” (My question wasn’t intended to hint about my desire for peace and quiet, at least not consciously.) John just looked at me as if thinking, “That’s a dumb question, it’s so obvious,” and he said, “Well, I’d still be inside Mommy’s tummy.” “OK, but what about before that?” I asked. “What if you never got to be in Mommy’s tummy? Where would you be?” “I don’t know,” John replied. “Just nowhere.” But he didn’t seem to like that answer, and after thinking a moment, he said, “I know where I was before I was in Mommy’s tummy. I was in outer space, in a sneaky little hiding place. I was this tiny. And if I didn’t get to be in Mommy’s tummy, I would still be there.”

Well, there’s no arguing with a four-year-old, and I figure he had me beat at the question game. But this kind of conversation can still get a person thinking. What if the world were different from the way it is? What if we’d never been born?” Aside from making our heads spin if we think about them too much, questions such as these have a useful purpose. They remind us of the miracle of life, of how miraculous it is that we exist at all.

Now, the word ‘miracle’ is somewhat ambiguous in its meaning. If by ‘miracle’ we mean something that is amazing or astonishing, then the world is full of miracles wherever we go. The sky, our bodies, the way we can talk to people thousands of miles away on a telephone—these are all amazing beyond words if we reflect on them.

On the other hand, if by ‘miracle’ we mean something supernatural that violates or can never be explained by natural laws, then I’m a good bit more skeptical about miracles. But there is at least one thing that probably fits even this definition of the word ‘miracle,’ and that is the miracle of existence itself.

There is an old philosophical question that asks, “Why is there something instead of nothing?” Religion and philosophy have tried to answer this question in many ways. But it probably doesn’t have an answer, or at least an answer we can know. The laws of nature can’t explain why there are laws of nature. We can say the universe came from the Big Bang, but where did the Big Bang come from? Why would it just happen? We can say God created the universe, but if that’s true, then where did God come from? Why would there just happen to be a conscious, supernatural being with the ability to create the whole universe at will? We could say that the universe or God just always existed, but the question is still why? Why isn’t there just nothing--no God, no universe, just nothing at all? Maybe there is no universe, and it’s all just an illusion. But then, why do we have this illusion, and who is having it?

There is another possibility--perhaps the existence of the universe is a logical or mathematical necessity. After reading about chaos and complexity theory, I find this idea more intriguing than I used to. In the mathematics of complexity, even a very simple formula can generate incredible, beautiful, unpredictable patterns, if the formula is self-referential or has feedback loops within it. Mathematics has shown itself to be an amazingly flexible tool for describing nature. Several years ago, a college professor named Barbara Shipman discovered that the dances of bees follow the pattern of a complex six-dimensional figure, called a flag manifold, mapped into two dimensions. (How anyone figured that out is the real miracle to me.) Now, I’ve never known a person who can think in six dimensions, and I’m doubtful that bees can do it. Could it be that their dance is simply an expression of an underlying mathematical reality? The idea that the whole universe may be a manifestation of inherent logical or mathematical truth is intriguing to me. But even if so, a meaningful mathematical system can never be fully self-defined or completely proven, as the mathematician Kurt Goedel demonstrated. There is still a question mark at the heart of reality. And there is still the question of why we each experience the universe in the particular ways we do.

However the universe came to be, there is one thing we know. We are here alive right now, and that is an astounding fact. I doubt that we are alone in the universe, but life as we know it is certainly very rare. The Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence or SETI project has been going on for years, but so far it hasn’t found anything. Life could exist in other places we can’t detect—for all we know, our whole universe could be just one tiny bubble out of an infinity of universes. But in the universe as far as we can see it, this fragile blue planet of ours is a very special place. It’s the only place we know of so far where the universe has awakened and gazed upon itself with wonder.

Our existence on this planet is truly amazing, but somehow, most of the time, life doesn’t feel so miraculous. When the kids are screaming, when I’m up against a deadline and there are bills to pay, or when I’m depressed from reports in the news about politics and terrorism and war, I feel more like saying, “Yeah, yeah, miracle of life. Just get me through the day, that’s all I want.” When we’re sick or in pain, or most of all, when we experience significant losses, especially the death of people we love, any feeling of joy about life is even more distant. Life can be very hard. That’s true for us, and it’s its true every day for billions of people in the world who face bleaker circumstances than most of us do.

Still, there is a sneaky little hiding place where joy and wonder reside, and even in difficult times, there are moments when we taste happiness, when we feel grateful to be alive. Life can’t be lived on an emotional mountaintop all the time, but it’s nice to get there every now and then. Yes, we experience painful losses, but they are a reminder that something has had meaning to us in the first place. Yes, we have responsibilities, and we should fulfill those responsibilities. Get the dishes washed, do the work, be there when we’re supposed to be. But in the spaces between, and even in the middle of our tasks, it is possible to open ourselves to a greater sense of wonder in our lives, letting it seep into the way we live until it becomes a part of our very being.

So how? How can we awaken a sense of wonder and awe in our lives more often? Experiencing wonder seems like something that should just happen, and sometimes it does, but cultivating a life full of meaning and joy takes practice and discipline, just as it does to fulfill our obligations at work or at home or in the community. I want to share a list with you of ten practices that may help you awaken your sense of wonder. It’s not the Ten Commandments or a David Letterman top ten list—just a few suggestions that might change the way you look at the world if you put them into practice. Most of these ideas are nothing original, but sometimes it helps to be reminded of the simple things we often forget to do. Certainly, there are times when we need to focus our attention on our response to crisis, and there are times of deep loss or trauma, or serious illness such as clinical depression, when we need professional assistance, and none of this can substitute for that. But I have seen that even in those circumstances, some of these practices may make a difference for the better. So, here are my ten recommendations to you.

1. Stop. Don’t rush on immediately to the next task. Breathe deeply and ask yourself if most of the things you are worried or irritated about will matter to anyone a hundred years from now. Resist the temptation to turn on the TV or to numb out with alcohol or other substances. Give yourself space for reflection or meditation or prayer, and listen to what you hear in the silence. Notice what you are feeling and let yourself feel it. Even if there is fear or pain in what you feel, it is still a reminder that you are alive.
2. Look at something small. Examine a pebble, an insect, a pine needle, a thread in your clothing.
   We are surrounded by amazing details we rarely notice unless we look closely. They are there all the time, just waiting for us to see.
3. Look at something big. Look at the sky or gaze at the mountains. Or look at the buildings in downtown Denver, thinking about how many human hands it took to put them there.
4. Listen to music. This doesn’t even need to add much time to your day. At home, in the car, it only takes a moment to turn on music that can lift you up. Pay attention to how you feel after listening to different kinds of music, and come back to the music that evokes what you want to feel.
5. Learn something new. Find a really good book to read. Ask a lot of questions. Buy a magazine on a subject you’ve never had any interest in, just to take a look at the world from a different point of view.
6. Treat yourself. Give yourself something you know you will enjoy—not something you’ll regret later, but something simple that you like. A walk in the woods, a time to play a favorite game or sport, a perfectly ripe piece of fruit, a warm bubble bath. Really savor every moment, and be thankful in that moment to be alive.
7. Listen to a child. Not everything that children say is profound, but they do have a way of looking at the world with fresh eyes and saying, “Wow!” to things we take for granted. Even if John’s questions could drive me nuts, I give thanks every day that he did come out of his Mommy’s tummy and into our lives. And no one expressed this better than his older brother George, who was about four years old himself when he looked at his new brother and said, “Daddy, when a baby gets made, it’s magic and real stuck together.” That’s the way I want to look at the world.
8. Listen to someone older. There is incredible wisdom in the lives of those who have lived here the longest. One of the highlights of my work as a hospital chaplain was talking with elderly patients about what they have learned in their lives that they would want to share with others. It was beautiful to hear them describe themes of love, acceptance, patience, faith, daring, and always remembering what’s really important.
9. Seek out community and build relationships. Not only are we able to gaze upon the universe around us, we are also able to look into each other’s eyes. There is no greater thrill in life than to see and be seen, to know and be known, to love and be loved. Treasure and cultivate healthy relationships, with friends, with family, with pets, with a church community, with small groups of people who can know each other well. Even when we lose people we love, remaining connected to community is one of the things we need the most.
10. Do something good. Do a favor for someone. Volunteer for a cause, such as helping those in the greatest need, protecting the vulnerable, seeking justice, or working to save this fragile blue planet so that people and other living creatures will be able to enjoy it for many more generations. Even when there are setbacks, don’t give up. Let yourself feel the energy and meaning that come from doing something that matters beyond yourself.

If any of these actions awaken the spark of wonder in you, reminding you for a moment of how miraculous it is to be alive, then there is one more thing you can do. Express yourself—sing or dance, write an essay, tell your story, paint a picture, play an instrument, say “thank you,” or just shout out “Hallelujah!” No matter how bad things get, no matter how much tragedy there is in the world, it is still an amazing gift to be alive. It took billions of years for life to evolve to this point, yet most of what we know has been learned in a few hundred years, just a blink in geologic time. This truly is an exciting time to be alive. Don’t waste the gift! Our lifetimes are brief, but there is still time to say “Wow!” Open your eyes to the wonders of nature, to the amazing developments of the modern world, to the opportunities to make a difference in this world, and to the people around you, each one of whom is a living, breathing miracle. Wake up, and say, “Yes! I am alive! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”

Amen.

© 2005 Nathan Woodliff-Stanley. Members and friends of Jefferson Unitarian Church are welcome to copy this sermon for personal use or to share with family or friends, but the contents of this sermon remain copyrighted, and may not be republished, preached, used without attribution or used for commercial purposes without the written consent of the author.