About a month ago I received an e-mail that stopped me dead in my tracks. The e-mail itself was innocuous enough. It was a simple request for a copy of the Easter sermon. What stopped me in my tracks was that the request came from a man in Australia. Not only that, but the man requesting the sermon is not a Unitarian Universalist. It turns out that he is a member of a liberal Christian Church. And what really amazed me is that in his request he mentioned that he leads a discussion group that has used my sermons off and on for years!
Now, at one level, this is just another story of how the Internet has changed our lives. At another level this little story illustrates what is happening all the time. What really struck me about this routine request was that I have had a relationship with a group of people in Australia for several years and didn’t know anything about it. In this particular case, the man wrote because I was a couple of days late posting my Easter sermon on our website and his group was planning to use it as the subject of their discussion. I wonder what they thought of it.
As I reflected a little more on this incident, I became aware of how many times in my life other people have had an effect upon me without knowing it. I thought about all the comments people have made that changed my thinking or made me feel good or hurt my feelings. In almost every instant, the person making the comment had no clue that it was affecting me the way it did. Often the person making the comment did not even realize I heard what was said. I thought about conversations that I’ve had with people I respect and how insights they shared with me have had a profound effect on my life. Lots of the time I did not appreciate the importance of what they said until months or even years later.
I am certain that everyone in here has some version of the same story. Each one of us has been affected by seemingly inconsequential things that others have said or done. And, of course, the opposite is true. You and I have said and done things that have changed the lives of others. Most of the time we are not aware of the effect we are having. That’s a little scary when you think about it.
So often we wonder whether our efforts make a difference. So often we wish we could make more of a difference. We don’t often stop and think that we make a difference every single day. Sometimes we see the difference that we make. Most of the time we don’t. We make a difference whether we want to or not. We make a difference whether we realize it or not.
Once you and I realize that we make a difference every day, we come face to face with one of life’s central questions: what difference is our life making? And then other questions follow in rapid succession. What will it mean that you and I have lived? How can we make the kind of difference we want to make? How do I really, really want to live? How can I do a better job of living the way I want to live? And, if we are not living the life we want, what is it that is holding us back?
Each one of us wants to be able to look back upon our life and say, “Yes. I feel good about my life.” And yet so often you and I fall short of living the life we want to live. A fundamental challenge for every one of us is how to make the life we are living closer to the life we long to live.
It isn’t a matter of having high ideals. Everybody has high ideals. I suspect that most criminals have high ideals. Nothing is easier than having high ideals. And although it is dangerous for a preacher to say it, talk is cheap. What does it take for me and for you to get closer to being the person we want to be? How do we put our ideals into practice in our relationships, at work, at school and here at church?
All of the great religious traditions give similar answers. They tell us that first we have to have a change of heart, not just a change of opinion. All the great traditions then go on to tell us that we have to make commitments, that we need a spiritual discipline or practice, and that we have to pay attention.
For centuries religions have understood what modern psychology has validated: we don’t change our behavior unless we have a change of heart. That is, our emotions must be engaged before we will change our lives. In the Christian tradition, this is reason for the emphasis on the experience of conversion, on being born again. Many of us are uncomfortable with emotional catharsis. We religious liberals are probably too reticent emotionally. (It is not for nothing that we have been called “God’s frozen people.”) We like to keep our emotions under control. Personally, I have seen a lot of quiet “conversions,” so I don’t think that public emotional display is essential. What is essential, however, is that we internalize our ideals.
It is one thing to believe in the inherent worth and dignity of all people. It is something quite different to feel empathy for the oppressed, to feel outrage when we see people exploited, to experience profound revulsion when we see people killed by violence or see starving children. It is one thing to believe in environmental stewardship. It is something very different to love the beauty and majesty of nature and to experience a profound anger at what we are doing to our earth. Our ideals about human dignity and environmental stewardship are not enough to move us to action. It is our emotions—our empathy, our righteous anger, our compassion that prod us into action. If we have abstract ideals without emotional involvement it is like having a musical score on a piece of paper. It isn’t music until somebody plays it or sings it.
Yet it is not enough to internalize our ideals, to feel them at the core of our being. That is the start, not the end. The next step to making a difference and living out our ideals is commitment. So many people in our society want love without commitment. It is an oxymoron. If you and I love another person, that love expresses itself as commitment. We make the commitment gladly and with all our hearts. I cannot say that I love my children and not commit myself to caring for them. If you and I really care about being part of a religious community, that caring expresses itself in service and financial generosity. And you know what, commitments not only express our values, commitments help us be who we want to be. Our commitments help us remember to do the right thing. Commitments create a strong bond, an enduring relationship.
And that leads us to the next insight from all religions: living the life we want to live involves discipline. Notice that “discipline” and “disciple” come from the same root. Anything we want to do in life demands discipline. You cannot be a good musician without practice. You cannot be a good athlete without practice. And we cannot be the people we want to be without practice, without a spiritual discipline that helps us return again and again to the core of our being. This is why traditional religions have placed so much emphasis on disciplines like prayer, meditation and regularly attending religious services. I think of all the times I have gone to church simply out of habit, only to find that the encounter with friends, the music and the message have refreshed my spirit. Without the discipline of a regular practice we can easily lose our way.
And this leads us to the next practice that all wisdom traditions teach: pay attention. Today almost 200 children and adults from our congregation will visit a Buddhist monastery. Our children have been studying Buddhism in their classes this trimester. Buddhism is perhaps the best example of a tradition that teaches us to pay attention. The great Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh focuses his many books on the practice of mindfulness. The Christian tradition often talks about the practice of discernment. All religions teach that when we are really in tune with our selves and aware of the world around us, we will know what to do and how to live.
What holds us back? I think it is most fear that holds us back—fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of the loss of security. What an irony. What we should really fear is not following our path, not being our true selves.
How will we know if we are truly on the right path? I believe that when we living the life we are meant to live, when you and I do all of the things we have just talked about—when we engage our emotions, when we commit ourselves to what we truly love, when we have a spiritual discipline that keeps us focused, when we are aware of our selves and our surroundings—when we are truly on the right path, our lives are filled with joy.
The opposite is also true. If you and I are on the wrong path, if we are distracted and unaware, if we are not acting out of love, if we are not acting with passion, if we are uncommitted, our lives will feel empty. We will feel lost and confused.
We so often think that living religiously involves great sacrifice and self denial. That is crazy. When you and I listen to our heart and our head, when we live in harmony with “the voice of Being” that Vaclav Havel speaks of in this morning’s reading, we are fully alive. Life becomes wonderful.
There is a wonderful Jewish story I heard years ago. It is about a wise rabbi in the Middle Ages. In the story the teacher (let’s call him Benjamin), says that on the day of judgment God will not call him to account for failing to be Moses. God will call him to account for failing to be Benjamin.
At the end of my days, I should not be held accountable for not having been Michael Servetus or Theodore Parker or William Ellery Channing or Mother Teresa. I should be held to account if I wasn’t the Peter Morales I might have been. Last year I attended the ministerial installation of a good friend, Don Southworth. I was asked to do the traditional charge to the minister at the installation service. I charged him with the most difficult challenge of all: to be Don. There is always a temptation to be somebody else.
At the end of your days the real measure of your life is whether you were truly you. Were you really Robert or Carol or Jim or Mary or Joe or Sharon?
And what of us together? I believe the same standard applies. As time goes on we should not be judged on whether we were as big as some other church or whether we did this or that as well as they did. We should judge ourselves on whether we are living out mission as best we can.
And, on that subject, we need to celebrate all that we have done. Last night at the stewardship celebration we honored the generosity and hard work of our congregation. We celebrated all the hard work during our social action weekend. I want to take a moment to mention a few of the people who worked tirelessly: Dee Ray, Fran Thorpe, Bill Manghum, Chris and Steve Sealy, and Barb Bailey. Dozens more worked scores of hours.
We have accomplished a lot over the years. We are making the difference in lives of members and in lives of others in our community and far beyond. I am especially gratified to see our youth involved year after year. We have been at our best when we followed our passion and put our ideals into practice.
Along the way we have learned and relearned an important lesson. When we follow our ideals together we make a huge difference. We make a difference far beyond what we could do alone.
There is another critical lesson that we must remember. Not only can you and I make a greater difference together, but I need you in order to be truly me—and you need me in order to be truly you. Not only that, but we give each other support and courage on the journey. As Vaclav Havel’s poem says so beautifully, when you and I set out to live in harmony with the voice of Being, we discover that we are on the same road. Today we welcomed another group of new members. These are people who discovered, as each one of us has, that we are on the same road.
I began this sermon with a little story about an e-mail from Australia and how that request for a copy of a sermon reminded me of how we make a difference all the time. Today you and I are going to make a difference in ways we can see and in ways we cannot see.
My prayer for each one of us is that we make the difference we truly want to make. I am convinced that we can, for I see it happen all the time. Each one of us can be a blessing to the world.
May each one of us follow our heart, commit ourselves to something worthy, follow a discipline that keeps us on our path, and pay close attention as we follow that path. Mostly, my prayer is that each one of us can learn to be who we truly are. For when you are you and I am me, together we will find joy, love, and meaning. And together what a difference we will make.
May it be so.Amen.